A Neat Trick: My Frist Day Back in India

June 8th, 2013

I was looking forward to returning to India. The night before the flight, my mind swirled with the chaos of India itself. I barely slept. India is one of my favorite countries, which bodes well; 1 in 7 people on Earth live here. I arrived in New Delhi yesterday afternoon,and I picked up a SIM card at the airport to called my friend Girish. I would be couch-surfing for the second time.

For those not in the know, couchsurfing.com is a website which connects willing travellers with willing hosts. There are better and worse way to “surf”. The website is not immune to all the inherent deficiencies of human beings. However, as is generally the case, the good in people has won out. If you can plan ahead and apply intuition, couch-surfing is a rewarding way to travel and meet upstanding people almost anywhere in the world.

I’m constantly amazed by the success of endeavors which depend entirely on the triumph of good over evil. All of humanity depends on just that. At the global scale, the stakes have never been higher, but it’s more difficult than ever to discern whether or not one is doing good or evil. However, its reaffirming to see it work for the little things. Hurray for couch-surfing and the good people that make it work.

The first time I used couchsurfing.com was Yangon, Myanmar. I connected with a 25 year old American named Colin, who was teaching a an international school in the capital. He gave me directions to his place, provided a place to sleep, and shared a few beers with me, simply because he’s a nice guy.

Girish has been no different. A born and bred Indian of 29 years, he’s a pharmacologist who loves all things travel. He shares the curious and non-judgmental attitude most Indians I have met have towards foreigners. There is an intense desire to exchange worldviews. It helps that they place a high value on education, of which fluency in English plays a large part.

In my opinion, Indian’s do a wonderful job analyzing and understanding the Western world and mindset. They have also done a great job preserving, analyzing, and understanding their own rich culture, and the Indian mindset.

Girish received me into his apartment with warmth and affection, and as soon as I was settled we launched into deep discussion about life, happiness, society, the brain, consciousness, and of course, travel. Girish has hosted a dozen or so couch-surfers, and had made time to travel around much of India. He wants to travel the world, but such things are hard for an Indian for many reasons. He took me for a bike ride around New Delhi, and as we weaved in and out of busy traffic, with horns honking and cars swooping past us by inches, we continued to converse about life in India.

Girish seems to be at an intersection in life. He understands both Western and Indian culture, and the juxtaposition of the two seem to be pulling him in different directions. He explained to me that he favors ideas of personal freedom enjoyed by many in the West.

“So long as you’re a good person, and aren’t hurting anybody, you should be able to do what you like, without being judged.” He said. “But it’s not like that in Indian society. You have to get married by a certain age, and have children, and work hard, and get a high-status job. And, your parents will constantly be reminding you ‘you could be doing better’! There is enormous pressure to please your family, and generally to conform to societal norms. ” He added.

Returning from the bike ride, we continued our frank conversation about such topics with his neighbor, a 53 year-old gentleman named Chandy Andrews. Mr. Andrews had a darker complexion, in total contrast to his silver-white hair. He often wore a smile, but his cheeks were beginning to droop with age. He was glowing to exchange worldly words with a foreigner.

“America! Great, great.” He began. “I’m am going to America soon. My son is about to graduate from Kellogg”. Perhaps he was glowing for other reasons. Kellogg is one of the best MBA programs in the world.

We continued to talk about Indian society and culture. Mr. Andrews was an forthright conservative when it came to what the youth of the country should be doing. He had genuine concerns for Girish.

“Travelling all over the world is fine for some people; if you don’t have to worry about money or a job and such. But, if you’re a middle class Indian, and go travelling all over the world by yourself, it would be very hard to be let back in to society. Who would marry you? Who would hire you? What would you family think!” He said.

“We very much have a money problem here in India. And there are money traps for the middle class, too. Loans are a new concept here. Interest is very high, and repayment is an issue. It’s very hard to escape this cycle. You need to secure yourself, and to do that, you have to play within the system.” He continued.

We talked about these matters; about how one make decisions on what to do with their life. He was very aware of alternative solutions. We talked about how different spiritual paths play into ones perception of reality. We talked about what is truly important to accomplish given our temporal existence.

“When choosing a life path, it’s like betting on horses. There are a bunch of different life paths; a bunch of different horses. You place your bets, and are stuck with that horse. You won’t find out if that horse wins until the race is over.” He said.   

“But what if you could climb up into the stands, and simply observe the race?” Was my reply. His response was instant, and genial.

 “Oh, that would be a neat trick.”  

I couldn't have said it better myself.